
Lately I have been finding that my conversations with my parents have been somewhat...interrupted. It seems that something has recently entered my family household that warrants a total halt to my long-distance call and a break in the conversation and in the nature of our discussion.
That something is George. (I have included a photo of me and my rival pretending to get along for the cameras...)
Last year my parents adopted a dog whom they christened George (for Georgia in keeping with the tradition of my now deceased dog Missouri). Like most puppies (especially large puppies) George is like a small child and requires constant monitoring lest she get herself into something she should not.
Since her introduction to the family, George has consumed various household items such as a rather expensive earring, socks, pieces of baseboard (which she pries away from the wall with her nimble claws), rubber bands, paper, tin foil, a cactus, ski mitts (the big, puffy ones)etc. etc.... George doesn't chew either--she swallows things whole and then spits them back up. Disgusting! Mom says that she thinks it's a pack instinct ingrained in her mind to make sure that she brings her kill back to the den.
Some of these items have been consumed (or their demise discovered) during my phone calls from Vancouver to Saskatchewan. Although my parents both leap to attend to the dog if they sense that something is amiss, they both have different approaches to how they excuse themselves from our phone call. My mother excuses herself. My father does not.
Example of conversation with Mother:
Jessica: (In a state of conflicted emotion) I just don't now what to do Mom! What should I do? How can I go back in there and--
Mom: JustasecondI'llberightback...Justhangon...
Jessica: Mom?
Mom: (Slightly distant from the phone. Spoken in growly-bear type voice. Very loud and dramatic. ) NO! NO! You bad, bad dog! YOULETITGORIGHTNOW!
Jessica: ???
Mom: (Coming back on the phone) Yes, and you were saying?
Example of conversation with Father:
Jessica: I'm sorry to hear about Baba's friend. Did Baba have a nice time at her memorial?
Dad: (Spoken into the phone in threatening, snarling tone but without any real force) Nnnnnooooo!
Jessica: Pardon me?
Dad: (Still speaking into the phone) I said no! You can't eat that.
Jessica: ????
It seems that George has discovered that the squeaky wheel gets the grease around my parent's household. Acting up equals attention, and she knows how to use that axiom for all it's worth.
Although I might one day take this as my cue to rebel and gain attention, I can at least promise that I don't eat houseplants. I only kill them through neglect...